Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Let's (just) be friends

I am averse to profundity. It is not a thing that is on the internet.

Profundity does not reside in a blog you read, nor in one I write. Let's just be clear about this one thing. I think profundity is on Kindle but I don't really know. I don't have a Kindle.

I respect you too much to make promises now about what you might expect here. I'm a person on the internet who is a person in the world. There's a venn diagram somewhere that could illustrate these persons to you, perhaps, but I'm bad with circles and numbers, so I'll spare you.

Let me tell you a few little things:

- This is a profundity-free zone. And by "zone" I hope you understand that the internet is not a place. As the old idiom goes, a cupcake is a cupcake is a muffin.

- I used to roundaboutly write about sandwiches and other things. There will be sandwiches. Oh, there will be. Unless things go horribly awry. But to answer in the negative (as one is wont to do), you won't exclusively find sandwiches here.

- And by sandwiches, I mean discussions of sandwiches. Kristin and I are still working to develop ways to blog food to one another. So far, I've lost 45 minutes and half a fudgesicle on this endeavor. We'll keep you posted on our progress. That was a blog joke.

- I promise you up to 340% more fake statistical evidence than any other blog on the interweb, guaranteed.

- I will forget most made promises almost immediately after having typed them.

- Any apologies herein are disingenuous and exaggerated for dramatic effect.

- I sincerely apologize in advance if anyone is offended by anything at anytime, ever.

- I like shiny things, pretty things, letters, style, and sarcasm. On these issues, I will not disappoint. That is not a promise.

Our internet personalities are but shades of our non-virtual selves. I'm not trying to be profound here--I don't mean shades as in Shades of the Dead in the Odyssey. Then again, maybe sort of like them, in that on the internet, as in hell, tales are told, histories are elaborated, and epics are enhanced, but the Shades are left for eternity and the guy the reader cares about goes back home and slaughters all the guys who've been eating all of his food and trying to hook up with his wife.

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